Monday

Je voudrais aller en France.

I feel like I have been passed over.
What a strange night. Well, second half of the night. late night. It was wonderful earlier. I stopped in at the West End SB to see Renee who did an amazing dance when she saw me. Smoked cigarettes and discussed why we are such awful cooks. I then went to Borders where I read everything from uber-expensive fashion magazines to books on French, Acrylic painting, and finally the Daring book for girls. Shortly after I had to have a most uncomfortable conversation where I felt like I was constantly putting my foot in my mouth. I don't know what's been going on lately. I feel jilted and unsettled. Maybe it's the changing of the seasons or my lack of appreciation for winter. I can't stand feeling like someone is draping the wool over my eyes. I like to be in the know about everything, good or bad. But at the same time knowing unpleasant things only cause my over-analytical mind to dwell and prevent me from falling asleep at night.

I need a break.

I'm just tired of under-lying issues. I'm tired of alterior motives. I just want to play peacefully in the sandbox. I don't have any enemies (that I know of) so everything should be sunshine and rainbows. It feels like years since I've spoken to my best friend. I'm not convinced that's part of growing up.


I would just like to wear bunny ears and giggle and drink tea and pretend we are five again. Is that too much to ask?

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